Pulau Perhentian

Just realized how emo my posts were LOL
Lots of things have happened since then =]

the end

RIR

I said: I don't wanna fall anymore
You said: Just fall, it's fine

So I did.
& You fucked me over.

Never say Never

I will never say I love you for I simply don't know what love is. I will always be holding those words for an impossible guy who media has told me will come but never will. Movies, Books, Television shows, poems even fairy tales have made me believe that one day someone will knock me off my feet and will give me a romance which cannot compare to the little flings I've had. It will be great love, amazing love, beautiful love. I was sure of it. But when it comes down to it, love cannot be compared. Like a fingerprint it differs for everyone. There are never two loves alike therefore what i expect will never be.

Fcuk My Life

As if im not in a fucked up, messed up and fed up kinda mood already I get this message off Ruth on Fb.

Ruth Phiri March 17 at 6:19pm
oh dude i have to tell you as well, Portugal is going to be training at my univeristy in the summer, that means cristiano ronaldo for a whole month Jeolous.

The lucky bitch.
I miss her. =[

Keith Hamson Marsell

Could it be? I've found Keith Hamson Marsell. The guy who is afraid of commitment. Leads girls on until he moves on and does the same to the next? I think i have. WOWZA

Logically a mess.

What i dont get is how i'm willing to do anything for someone that doesn't care for me but do nothing for the ones that do care? Where is the sense in that.

Urgablahbeh

Love is like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day, you want more. You’re not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things. You think about the person you love for two minutes, and forget them for three hours. But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. If he’s not there, you feel like an addict who can’t get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you’re willing to do anything for love.

— Paulo Coelho (By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept)

s-l-u-t

BAHAHAHAAHHAA

Joshy Yep THats mE! BIg, BrowN, HuNky, ChuNky and SpUnkY! XD says:
Are you a slut?

'xx. Kate ;; Lux Aeterna says:
Huh wtf?

Joshy Yep THats mE! BIg, BrowN, HuNky, ChuNky and SpUnkY! XD says:
jsut asking are u or not

' xx. Kate ;; Lux Aeterna says:
no?

Joshy Yep THats mE! BIg, BrowN, HuNky, ChuNky and SpUnkY! XD says:
u sure?
i think u are..

' xx. Kaye ;; Lux Aeterna says:
o.0

Joshy Yep THats mE! BIg, BrowN, HuNky, ChuNky and spUnkY! XD says:
sexy, lean & un-tameable
lol

' xx. Kate ;; Lux Aeterna says:
LOL

Danger Danger Mrs Robinson

I hate it when you talk to someone online, then you stop talking for a while, then when you go back to talk they're offline. -.-

I met your boy, I texted your boy, I sexed your boy & he loved it.

NS.
STOP STEALING MY BOYS.
BITCH.

The Who Whos.

Nearly Died on the bus- Now I have a bruised & battered back. A swollen finger & a pulled musle in my right arm.
Went to City Hall
Went Jamming at Bugis
Went to Cathay
Went home
Simple, Not so easy.

ARGUBLAHBLEHUHHHHHGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I can die happy.

DIE HAPPY I TELL YOU. =]

Malice in Wonderland.

LOL @ the walk back to kert after the movie. I went down from Cathay to Cinileasure.
So, I was minding my own business listening to music then all of a sudden this guy starts walking down n talking with me. & you know me, I'm the friendliest girl in Singapore ffs. So i talk back. Below goes the convo.

Stranger: Where from
Me: England
Stranger: Ow Beautiful country, Rich country. (because he's not after money AT ALL)
Me: mmmm (fake a smile)

he walks on, then stops then slows down to talk more.

Stranger: Where do you live?
Me: Oooorchard?
Stranger: Oh, where are you going?
Me: Cathayy?

he walks on, then stops then slows down to talk to me again

Stranger: Married?
Me: o.0 no.
Stranger: Ok, How old?
Me: 18
Stranger: wow, so young and fresh (fresh? FRESH?)

so once again he walks off then comes back & at this point he has made me take my earphone out 4 times and i was listening to Lil' Wayne. NO ONE INTERRUPTS ME WHEN I LISTEN TO LIL' WAYNE.

Stranger: You are so beautiful
Me: Thanks.
Stranger: Boyfriend
Me: Yes
Stranger: Singapore boyfriend?
Me: Yes
Stranger: England boyfriend?
Me: No.
Stranger: ok that's all i need to know.

So then he shakes my hand then like speed walk off. I breath a sigh of relief then realise i'm back to having private time with my little wayne baby.

She'll be saying use me, Show me the Jacuzzi.

I'm usually caught being in lust rather than in love. I don't know why.
I don't push romance away I just dwell in the idea of sin.
I never know what I want but I tend to want what I can't have.
& once i get it, i just simply don't want it anymore. Call me spoilt.
But maybe living this way has it's benefits.
Because it means I'll just have my heart broken and never shattered.

Harsh

"Wats new..-_-" see la...u kept gg out with the people who knows the guy thats obviously not into u. u're just wasting ur time..bt yea, im nt in the position to nag at u..u knw wat u want n wat to do.."

&

"Well, im sry but as a close fren, i just dont want to see u keep getting hurt and feel like shit at the end of each hang out of urs..u obviously know that he's nt that into u..yet, u kept coming back and get urself ito a bigger mess..i may nt show that i cared bout u.bt for how long do u wanna be treated like this?"

He could never hurt me as much as what you said hurt me.

Queen

I've changed my mind, I take it back.
Don' t touch me please, I cannot stand the way you tease.
You've got me wrapped around your finger, do you have to let it linger.

3 songs STUCK on replay.
Cardigans, Soft cell, Cranberries.

IGUL

Pointless

That's what you are. UTTERLY POINTLESS.
You send me random stupid messages at 12.30am +++

You've caused me so much 'arghness'- if that's even a word- in the past. The last thing i want off you is an annoying message which makes me a) think of you b) remind myself of the regret i feel just knowing I had anything to do with you.

This has not been my week at all.

I give up lah.

I go away tomorrow & I couldn't be more happier to take a break from this place. The past month has been so draining mentally. I mean my emotions have been running overtime. My 'I don't care' attitude has morphed into this 'I do care but I give up attitude'. I need the old me back.

I'll leaving Singapore hurt and hopefully come back with a tan.

Twisted

I'm getting a taste of my own medicine & i don't like it one bit.

First attempt of writing?

I swore i’d stop. I’d sit and share the last cigarette with him and convince myself that there wouldn’t be a fresh pack tomorrow. I’m not addicted to them i’d say, they just give me something to do in awkward times. What an excuse. “Just something to do in awkward times? So what you’re saying is that it’s awkward to be with me?” he’d reply jokingly. As if he was only speaking to prolong the conversation which we both knew had no point from the very beginning. I tried to giggle and give a reply but ended up chocking on the smoke which had been half inhaled, half swallowed.

He looked away, proving he didn’t care what my reply was. Blowing the remainder of the smoke into the air and flicking the ashy tip of the ciggarette into the can turned ashtray I said “No, it’s not awkward being with you at all”. But it actually was. Awkward in the sense that I like you and you don’t like me. The awkwardness where you’re not yourself when you’re with him but instead someone you think he wants you to be. He gave a half hearted smile and continued to stare at the passing world which had caught his attention a few moments after realising the conversation was heading nowhere.

Then it hit. The silence we were trying to avoid. It hit hard and what’s worse, the cigarette had about two puffs left to save me from actually having to have a real conversation